In the age of filtered identities, teens are growing up too fast — and too alone. As ‘Adolescence’ resonates with Indian viewers, educators warn of social media’s grip on teenagers’ identity, self-esteem
While topping the TRP ratings, the Netflix series Adolescence, set in the UK, has struck a chord in India as well, especially in urban spaces, and among adolescents, young adults, parents and teachers. Although the psychological impact of social media is different in India, due to deeply rooted family and kinship ties, there are stark similarities in its positive and negative effects. Predictably, the inevitable dangers of its negative impact and its deadly consequences are troubling educators and elders — especially because, in the current digital scenario, the situation seems totally out of control.
Now, what can parents or teachers do if a school girl of 14 puts up a DP (display profile) on Instagram, with heavy make-up, hair done in a beauty parlour, wearing a slightly revealing dress, appearing to be 24, and that too with a ‘come-hither’ look? Otherwise, she could be a brilliant student, conscientious in her studies, honest, diligent and hardworking, and an extremely responsible and happy teenager. So what is it that compels her to create a fake DP like this?
DP as identity card
Similarly, it is routine for youngsters to project an image that is not their basic identity. Posing as a flashy dancer, a celebrity, a film star, a footballer, or posing with artificial expressions, often, almost mindless and stupid. In other cases, some dark adolescents use filters to look fair, and play-act in a bizarre manner to attract attention.
Teachers in schools and undergraduate colleges are of the opinion that the search for ‘likes’ and affirmation is driving a section of this generation crazy, including in India. Their beauty standards have changed. They want to constantly look pretty, perfect, attractive, seductive, intelligent, happy-go-lucky and beautiful, and they want instant gratification and recognition, at any cost, in the virtual world.
Also read: Adolescence: A terrifying descent into the dark web of misogyny, teenage rage
They should display their fun parties, their food, their exotic holidays, the movies they are watching in shopping malls. Their self-esteem is always being tested. They wake up with notifications, and they sleep with notifications. And there is no one around to help them negotiate this addictive labyrinth of deceptions.
Pimples, scars or wrinkles are abhorred. No age is perfect, one must jump the calendar. Don’t enjoy the playful innocence of teen life — jump to youth, or adulthood instantly. Look inviting and sexy. The Instagram or Facebook DP is your daily identity card.
How virtual world can turn dangerous
This constant search for a fake identity can get tiresome and stressful because there is no tangible realism in this everyday existence — 24/7. Life becomes a tedious routine of ‘bad faith’. The search for recognition, or to look constantly beautiful, even adult, counselors say, can lead to despair, depression and anxiety.
With no helping hand around, with no one to speak to, this can have long-term consequences shaping the inner life and social conduct of an adolescent. This is especially so for a solitary child in a household in impersonal gated societies, where parents are a working couple, and too busy to notice serious behavioral changes.
Besides, at this age of serious hormonal upheaval, and physical changes, the virtual world can also turn dangerous — there are all kinds of people out there — role models, achievers, outstanding students, sportspersons, etc; also, professional predators looking for easy prey, compulsive frauds speaking the same language as their ‘potential victim’, imposters getting on your wavelength, playing their next smart move to trap you.
A still from the hit Netflix show, Adolescence, which struck a chord with Indian viewers
According to Professor ACL Kalpana, who handles students’ affairs in a private university in Bengaluru, “Many young women do not openly discuss their challenges due to the stigma and shame associated with such conversations. When they enter college and experience a newfound sense of freedom, they may begin to explore physical relationships — often influenced by media portrayals that frame dating, kissing, and being in a relationship as cool and aspirational.”
How the perversions creep in
Besides, in the multitude of social media handles, one might search for a name, and immediately encounter pornographic pop-ups, which refuse to go away. In any case, porn or semi-porn is so easily accessible these days that it is bound to find a permanent domain in the digital life of some youngsters (not all, certainly). This can make youngsters feel guilty, unable to get rid of this obsessive habit, seriously disturbing their relations with the opposite sex.
For instance, Snapchat. Says Aayushi Rana, who has taught in a prestigious private school in Delhi, Snapchat can be dangerous, deceptive and addictive. “Snapchat is a smart phone app built around fleeting photos and videos (snaps) that disappear after viewing. Its playful interface — complete with badges, filters and ‘Snapstreak’ counters — turns everyday chatting into a game. Students race to keep their streaks intact, checking the app compulsively to avoid breaking a daily tally. There are carefree streak counters and those fun filters, but, underneath, Snapchat can be a bit of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
She argues that, often, if not always, the risks can turn ugly. Because snaps vanish, they give a false sense of privacy that emboldens risky behaviour. Some teens might feel tempted to send nude or semi-nude pictures (‘sexting’), since they ‘disappear’, only to discover that a quick screenshot can turn private or secret images into a viral shame. That is where the perversions creep in. Besides, peer-pressured dates escalate into sharing more than they are comfortable with, and predators can slip into private chats under ‘Quick Add’.
“I have seen bright and conscientious students freeze up, terrified that refusing could cost them their place in the group. This could turn psychologically devastating for a vulnerable mind,” she says.
Bigger emotional burden for girls
According to Rana, cyber-bullying, blackmailing, and grooming aren’t just online horror stories — they happen in those disappearing threads, leaving real scars long after the screen goes dark. At its worst, Snapchat, when used with a negative intent, can fuel a vicious loop of anxiety and secrecy: keep the streak going at all costs, never admit you feel uneasy, and don’t tell anyone if something crosses the line. “It’s a recipe for isolation, self-doubt, and even depression — what I would call a deadly psychological influence,” she says.
Also read: Wo Bhi Din The: An unembellished, charming portrait of adolescence, and Jamshedpur
“But it isn’t all doom and gloom. When guided wisely, Snapchat can also be a genuine tool for creativity, knowledge, shared friendships, and togetherness. I have watched students sketch out quick doodles to cheer up friends, send sunrise snaps as morning check-ins, or create tightly-knit study groups where questions get answered instantly. It can be a space to be silly, share a private joke, or celebrate small victories without the permanent footprint of a post on Instagram or Facebook. So, yes, Snapchat has a dark side — one that can nurture perverse pressures and hidden harm — but it can also be channelled toward connection, humour, and spontaneous creativity,” she says.
“The trouble is, bodies and faces change constantly — especially in your teens — so it sets up a shaky foundation right from the start. And every time you hit ‘post’, you are basically asking for a report card in likes and comments. A flood of hearts feels amazing, but even a handful of thumbs downs, or a story poll that goes sideways, can sting — because it feels like a direct critique of ‘you’. What really worries me is how young this starts. Imagine being 14, still figuring out who you are, and suddenly every heartbeat seems to depend on your follower-count,” says Rana.
“It’s like a baby turtle whose shell hasn’t hardened yet — totally adorable, but every little bump can leave a mark. In that fragile window, a bad comment or a bad phase of ‘engagement’ can snowball into full-blown anxiety, heartache and despair. For girls, it is a bigger emotional and mental burden, because they always tend to be at the receiving end, and looking pretty and behaving perfectly becomes an obsessive social media demand,” she adds.
The lesson from Adolescence
Educators are unanimous that instead of judging the youngsters, parents and teachers must try to listen to them, trust them, understand them, and give them unwavering love. They should be taken into confidence, and given the confidence that they are not alone, that these are passing fads, that this too shall pass, that she or he is essentially a wonderful young person who lives a happy and fulfilling life.
Taking away mobiles or banning social media will not help. It will only lead to adolescents choosing dubious ways to enter the digital world — and they are not tech-challenged like many elders! They should, instead, gradually realise, with help from teachers, a brother, cousin or sister, or a loving mother, that social media can also be used creatively, that it can also lead to new and exciting knowledge systems, meaningful entertainment, shared discoveries of nature and the world.
Indeed, there is no perfect solution to this epidemic stalking the world now, including in India. The only way out is that youngsters should not be judged, punished or condemned. Instead, they should be given the tools to cope with this addictive realm, with logic, intelligence and trust. And, infinite love.
Surely, that is the only way to make them feel joyful and confident, so that they can enjoy their wonderful years of teen life and youth. If there is one lesson from the hit Netflix series, Adolescence, which ends in tragedy for a young school boy, it is this.
