Meghalaya to Maharashtra to Munnar, why do people kill their spouses?
It's often a savage mix of delusion, narcissism and abusive childhood, say experts; the killings are often poorly planned and perpetrated to get instant results
The chilling murder in Meghalaya, where a newlywed woman from Indore allegedly orchestrated her husband’s killing during their honeymoon, has not just shocked the country, but has also sparked a discussion on the psychological triggers that drive perpetrators – a spouse in this case – to commit such heinous crimes.
Thursday (June 12) brought in another shocker: In Maharashtra's Sangli district, a 27-year-old woman allegedly hacked her 53-year-old husband to death just a fortnight after their wedding. She was driven to rage when he insisted on consummating their 15-day-old marriage, police said, adding the accused has been arrested.
Tamil Nadu, over the years, has seen no dearth of cases where individuals were brutally killed by people they knew or were close to, including husbands, lovers, or acquaintances.
Criminologists and psychologists attribute such killings to delusion, impulsivity, and the influence of media.
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2006 Munnar murder
The Meghalaya case is reminiscent of the gruesome murder of a Chennai man during his honeymoon in Munnar 19 years ago.
In India, many marriages occur under parental pressure or through arranged setups, even when individuals claim to be in love with others. Society and families often fail to value consensual relationships between mature adults.
On June 16, 2006, Vidyalakshmi, a medical transcriptionist from a wealthy upper-caste family in Chennai, allegedly conspired with her lover Anand, a 24-year-old auto-rickshaw driver, and his accomplice Anburaj to murder her husband Anantharaman during their honeymoon in Munnar, Kerala. Her parents had opposed her relationship with Anand due over caste and financial issues.
Anand and Anburaj strangled Anantharaman with his camera strap when the couple was visiting Kundala Dam. The duo struck after precise instructions via SMS and phone calls that Vidyalakshmi had made from her husband’s phone.
Digital evidence, including phone records and bloodstains matching Anantharaman’s blood group, led to a swift resolution of the case, with the Thodupuzha sessions court in 2007 sentencing Vidyalakshmi and Anand to double life imprisonment and Anburaj to a single life term with a Rs 10,000 fine.
Brutal crimes
It wasn’t an isolated case. On September 20, 2024, a sex worker in Chennai’s Duraiappakkam was killed, and her brain was allegedly cooked and consumed by the perpetrator in a chilling act of depravity.
On January 31, 2025, Chennai police arrested 34-year-old homeopathy practitioner Samuel Ebenezer Sampath for allegedly murdering his girlfriend and concealing her body for four months.
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Most recently, on June 6, Manimangalam police arrested a 28-year-old man for brutally beating his wife, a former Miss Chennai, to death. Her family alleged dowry harassment and caste-based discrimination, spotlighting the persistent scourge of domestic violence.
‘Manifestation of one’s past’
Mental health experts attribute these crimes to a complex web of psychological and social factors.
Senior psychologist Dr Anbu Durai says such crimes are often a manifestation of a distorted value system or unaddressed psychological issues during childhood.
“These acts don’t happen in isolation. They connect to past patterns—often rooted in antisocial personality disorders, shaped by childhood environments, a pursuit of instant gratification, and a distorted value system,” he told The Federal.
Unlike what we see in movies, “real-life perpetrators are often known to their victims, emerging from within our own society, as seen in epics like the Mahabharata", he added.
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Why such crimes are ill-planned
Mental health specialist Dr Ilayaraja says such crimes are often poorly planned.
“These homicides are often poorly planned because perpetrators are driven by a narcissistic need to eliminate their partner. They prioritise their desires above all else, showing traits of antisocial personalities,” he told The Federal.
Unlike terrorists, who may not expect to survive, murderers often dream of starting a new life post-crime, revealing a striking lack of worldly wisdom.
He pointed out that many offenders come from abusive backgrounds themselves, perpetuating a cycle of violence.
John Paul Manickam, a senior criminologist, offers a sobering analysis of the mindset driving such atrocities. His insights, drawn from years of studying criminal behaviour, reveal a troubling mix of delusion, impulsivity, and societal influences fuelling these heinous acts.
‘Perpetrators delusional’
Manickam points to a common thread in these crimes: a misguided belief that the perpetrators can escape justice. “Whether driven by betrayal, deception, or a sense of being wronged, many criminals think they can commit a crime and walk away free,” he told The Federal.
“Someone, somewhere, falsely assures them they can escape. But history shows otherwise—killers always get caught, even if it takes 10 or 15 years.”
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The criminologist finds this “dangerous optimism” baffling, noting that, unlike terrorists who may not expect to survive, murderers often dream of starting a new life post-crime, revealing a striking lack of worldly wisdom.
‘Instant-solution mentality’
Referring to the murder of the former Miss Chennai by her 28-year-old husband, Manickam said the case reflects a deeper mental disturbance. “A normal person might choose separation if they are unhappy with their partner. But to plan a murder? That signals a profound psychological deviation,” he said.
He attributes this trend to an “instant-solution” mentality in today’s fast-paced world. “People want quick resolutions, like in the movies. Visual media has a massive impact—ordinary individuals see crime scenes on TV and internalise them, lowering their inhibitions to kill,” he explained.
He noted that 70 per cent of nightly news broadcasts are dominated by crime reports, normalising violence in the public psyche. “Crime is always around us. Perpetrators act without fear of consequences, believing they won’t get caught, even when logic suggests otherwise,” he added.
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Collapse in individual morality
An incident in Vellore in February, where a pregnant woman was pushed out of a moving train by a man after she resisted his sexual assault attempt, exemplifies this warped thinking.
“What does it show? A disorder in the individual’s thought process,” Manickam said. “What was the attacker thinking that morning? These cases don’t just point to a breakdown in law and order—they reveal a collapse in individual morality.”
Manickam emphasised the power of thought in shaping behaviour. “Two people might think about a house differently. One dreams of resting after work; another plots to break in and rob it. The difference lies in their mindset,” he said.
Socio-economic triggers
Manickam’s words serve as a stark warning: "Without addressing the societal and psychological triggers—media influence, impulsivity, and moral erosion—the cycle of violence will persist. The state stands at a crossroads, urging collective action to restore not just law and order, but the very fabric of human conscience".
Another senior psychiatrist said that, 90 per cent of the time, prior violent behaviour is often the indicator of domestic violence. Socioeconomic factors like poverty, unemployment, and family stressors—disputes over money, sex, or children—further fuel the fire.
Recent economic downturns have exacerbated child abuse, neglect, and domestic violence, he notes.
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Need for harmony
Psychologist Durai noted that maintaining harmony in adult relationships is crucial.
"Even in troubled marriages, separation is often not socially accepted; the focus is on repairing the relationship at all costs rather than allowing it to end. Some individuals make poor decisions due to this pressure," he said.
"The root cause lies in the inability to sustain adult relationships effectively, coupled with a societal system that discourages breaking such relationships. Seeking counseling is often stigmatised as a mental health issue, leading people to resort to superstitious practices like mantras or tantras, he added.
Normalising divorce
Anbu further noted that in India, many marriages occur under parental pressure or through arranged setups, even when individuals claim to be in love with others.
Society and families often fail to value consensual relationships between mature adults. "Divorce is mocked and trivialised. In reality, it involves prolonged, painful legal battles. Traditional mindsets, such as the belief that one must stay in a marriage at all costs, or that 'a thousand lies can be told to get married', contribute to these societal issues," he noted.
